


Whumtober Day 1: shaky hands

by weird_au_ideas



Series: Whumptober 2019 [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Whumptober, Whumptober 2019, warnings at the start of each work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 13:08:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weird_au_ideas/pseuds/weird_au_ideas
Summary: Collection of my Whumptober prompts!





	Whumtober Day 1: shaky hands

**Author's Note:**

> I once emerged from the void again to take part in whumptober!  
I know that I'm late af but the prompts are fun to write so I'll post them every once in a while.  
It will also vary fandoms. Some prompts will be written in fandoms but others will be written with my OCs starring in them when I find them fitting!
> 
> Fandom: Sander Sides  
WARNINGS: form of self harm  
blood  
description of injuries? (itching)  
If I should put anything else in the warnings please let me know!  
Hope you enjoy!

It was a quiet afternoon in the mindscape.Roman took Patton on some adventure in the imagination,occupying them for a good few hours.Logan went in his room after he hastily ate breakfast,not having left since then,which left Deceit and Virgil alone in the common room,Virgil listening to music while Deceit read a book.

It had been two months since Deceit has been officially accepted,his sleek black and yellow door,with snake engravings,standing right next to Virgil's purple door,which was covered in posters and cobwebs.It had been a weird learning curve for him getting used to his new surroundings and sides.It was normal for him to be woken up by wrath yelling about breakfast,telling the lying side to wake up and start with it as Remus kept him company while making it,telling Deceit about his new deranged ideas.Now Patton was waking him up,carefully knocking on his door and telling him to go downstairs to join the others,food already there to eat.He was used to locking himself in his own room,which was one of the few places he could have peace and quiet,door having been broken down a few times by a little too overeager sides that apparently never heard of privacy.Deceit now could just have time for himself,not being on guard all the time in his room.That didn't mean that Deceit hated the 'dark sides',far from it.Even though they all had their 'quirks' they were still there for each other,them being a weird little family.It was all just too stressful for Deceit and they slowly realized that his place wasn't with them but rather with the 'light sides' as he has been overall happier there.But Deceit made sure to visit them regularly,updating them on him and how he's doing now.

But the once stressful time left Deceit with something that he wished would have stopped.What started back then as a little itch that wasn't out of the ordinary but evolved to be more and more violent,leaving only after he was bleeding,blood flowing down his arms.Even though he is in a more peaceful place now,the itch would still return,bothering him in some of the most unfortunate times.But Deceit managed to keep his problem hidden from the others and he wasn't about to change that in the near future.As he read,he felt a little tingling feeling near his wrist.Trying to ignore it he flipped to the next page,focusing completely on the book in his hands.He tried his best to ignore the feeling that had spread from his hand to his whole arm,the need to dig his fingernails into his skin getting stronger by the second.Deceit didn't notice how he was gripping the edges of the book so harsh that he started to leave marks on the cover,hands shaking furiously.The sensation was taking over his mind,him not noticing how Virgil started to call out to him,getting more anxious by the second.Virgil placed a hand on Deceit's shoulder,shaking him to get him out of his trance,getting him back to reality.As Deceit realized what was happening he flinched away from Virgil's touch,as if it was burning him,resulting in an even more concerned expression from said side that had the undertones of hurt in it.He had to leave,he couldn't handle the situation at the moment,wanting to return to his room to take care of his problem.So Deceit closed his book,starting to stand up and walking up the stairs until a voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Deceit.Are you okay?"

The question was agonizing but leaving without an explanation would worry the anxious side even more.Putting on his best fake smile,Deceit turned to face Virgil,spewing out lies like there was no tomorrow.

"Why,of course I'm okay Virgil!I couldn't be happier at the moment,I just forgot about some tasks in my room and I'm on my way to complete them."

Lying always left such a sour taste in his mouth,especially when Deceit had to lie to the others.He couldn't just stop with it,but was trying his best to always tell the truth,or at least try most of the time.Habits die slowly and Virgil was the most understanding of it,so Deceit hoped that he would end the conversation there and let him move on.But Deceit should have known better,the brows of the anxious side furrowing,looking at him with squinted eyes,as if that would help detecting the lies.

"Deceit,you know I can tell when you're lying.It's okay if you want to return to your room.Can I just ask what it is?"

This was going horrible.The itch getting worse,now having spread to his other arm,torturing him further.Deceit trusted the others,the problem didn't lie there.Rather it was his fear about their treatment of him,starting to act differently around just because of that little problem.Acting like he could break at any moment.He learned it back when he confessed it to the one side he could tell everything to;Lust who was just worried about him.Deceit appreciated the sympathy the other side gave but couldn't bare how their interactions changed,once relaxing moments filling with tension,only dragging him further down his sorrows.He doesn't want that to happen again,this time with the `light sides'. Still standing still like a deer caught in the headlights,his head was flooded with all kinds of worst kind scenarios,him not being able to focus on an answer,hands shaking like crazy.The voice of Virgil was what brought him back,the side having concern written all over his face.

"Deceit,are you sure you don't want to talk about it?You know I won't judge you.Don't you trust me?"

That question hit Deceit right in the gut,not only guilt filling him for making Virgil feel like he doesn't trust him,but also anger boiling in him as he just wouldn't drop the subject and leave Deceit alone.He didn't mean the next words that came out of his mouth but it was too late before he realized,words already spoken.

"There's nothing to talk about!I'M FINE!I am feeling just peachy!Maybe deal with you own problems before you try to play therapist for other?!It would be much appreciated if you would just mind you own damn business!"

The statement left both of them frozen,Deceit regretting ever leaving his room,the hurt look on Virgil getting unbearable.So he broke out into a sprint,running to his room before the other side could get a word out,tears starting to form.Arriving in his room,he slammed the door shut,sliding down to the floor,shakily covering his mouth to stop the sobs trying to get out.Why did he always mess up?He rather destroyed the progress of the last two months with the others than let himself be vulnerable around them.Sitting there he started to remove his coat,getting a little relief from his nails trying to break his skin,blood starting to travel along his arms down to his elbow where they dropped on his floor.Around half an hour passed before Deceit felt good enough to stand up,dragging himself to his bed,not caring about the blood staining his sheets.A few tears escaped his eyes and landed on his pillow,never leaving his room again sounding like the best idea ever.

He just had to mess it up.

**Author's Note:**

> this was so hard to write for some reason!It is far from my best work because my brain apparently couldn't function properly while writing this!I should probably stop writing at like 3 a.m. .-.  
Anyway,I hope you enjoyed reading it!


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